Why I love planning

I am an obsessive planner who thrives on being busy. There I’ve admitted it out loud! There is nothing I like more than a good plan! It gets me excited, keeps me feeling grounded and sane, gives me a sense of purpose but most importantly for me, it focuses my mind.

 Not everyone thinks my planning is such a great aspect of my personality. I used to allow people to make me feel like my planning was a negative thing about me – I was told I was nerdy and boring. That I was ‘such an accountant'. They assumed I must lack spontaneity. I couldn’t possibly be fun. People assume I'm not flexible.

None of this is true about me by the way. Thankfully, the older I get the less I care about what other people think. I’ve always tried to not judge others nor impose my views on them yet I regularly allowed others judgements and views of me impact not only what I do but how I felt about myself. Maybe my approach to the big 4-0 is helping (I’m told us women tend to feel more secure in ourselves in our 40s – that's something to look forward to!) Whatever is driving it – be it age, experience, maturity, self awareness, all those Dirhams spent on self help books - I’m grateful. I have never felt happier in myself, in who I am and in what I want and as one of my best childhood friends says ‘ignore the begrudgers’!

So back to planning.

I have three young and busy children. I had a busy, demanding, high responsibility career before I gave it up to set up my own business. I have a husband, a dog and a cat, friends I love to spend time with. There’s my Dad, four brothers, in-laws, nieces, nephews, godchildren in Ireland. I also have big plans for my future.  I’ve had my fair share of challenges, traumas and setbacks in life. I have a full life, I am very lucky but it’s BUSY! So how do I manage it all? For me planning is key! But I haven't always handled it well. I've made some huge mistakes. I still don't always manage it well but I am better at forgiving myself for that. I was the text book busy career mum, too often operating on autopilot. I looked happy on the outside, seemed to have it all, looked like I had everything under control but I was struggling behind the scenes and not admitting I had a problem. I was desperately unhappy trying to juggle it all, distracting myself through my busyness and felt like I was failing at everything.  

So what did I do? Lots of things (of course!) but right now I’d like to talk about how planning better and smarter helped me in my recovery from chronic busyness and refocus my priorities in life. 

1)   Goals

Goals, goals, goals – for me setting goals is everything. I have short term, medium term and long term goals. I have financial goals, personal growth goals, career goals to name but a few. BUT – in the spirit of mindfulness, I am very careful to not attach my self esteem nor my identity to those goals. My goals are set but I review them regularly. Life changes, things happen, curve balls come flying our way, we change and so I adapt my goals accordingly when appropriate. And I do not judge or punish myself if my goals change or are delayed. It’s ok, it’s life, no-one died! 

2)   Positive habits

This is a nightly habit I implemented almost a year ago. I learned this from my amazing life coach. Working with her has been instrumental in me taking control of my chronic busyness amongst other things but more on that another time! 

First, get yourself a notebook, diary or journal. There are journals out there which lay out this format for you but I just use a nice pretty notebook I bought myself specifically for this purpose.

Every night I sit down just before I go to bed, take out my notebook and do the following:

1)  Reflection: reflect on my day – I acknowledge what went well, what could have gone better, and rate my day out of 10. I make sure to write down at least one thing I achieved, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant it might be (there were days during lockdown where that was literally 'I got dressed today'!)

2)   Gratitude list: write at least 3 things I am grateful for. I don't just list them though. I write one down and then take a few moments to really think about it and feel it before moving on to the next one.

3)   Goals: Set three goals for the next day – mine don’t tend to change much. They are usually a mix of – Be happy, Be mindful, Be productive, Be me, Be a patient and loving mother!

4)   Habits: Write down 3 positive habits – again mine don’t tend to change much and they usually include – Exercise, Meditate, Eat Healthy.

5)   To Do: I write down the most important items on my to do list, my non negotiables for the next day. I try to limit this to three items only. These are the most important items I want or need to achieve that day. 

6)   Looking forward to: I write down at least one thing I am looking forward to. In the past this was the one I struggled with most. I was so busy getting stuff done – work, getting the kids to their activities, the house renovations, paying the bills, grocery shopping etc that I didn’t allow time for me nor did I think about any positives in my day. I still struggle with this one sometimes, especially now with how our lives have changed during the pandemic. But it’s a crucial one, and one that can change my whole mindset before I go to bed. I also had to learn it doesn’t have to be a big thing, I learned to find the good in small things – like enjoying how chatty my son is in the car when it’s just me and him, one on one. He comes out of his shell like no other time and I get a real insight into his amazing mind. Before I would take that for granted. I didn't pay attention, too busy thinking through my to do list and what I need to do next. Now I look forward to it and have the most amazing chats and laughs with my little boy.

For me, planning is crucial to many aspects of my life. And through mindfulness I have learned it’s ok for plans to change. I also don’t have to have my whole life planned out. Plans are important but what really matters is the here and now. Changing the plan does not equal failure and does not need to lead to feelings of shame, regret, guilt and self-criticism. Being present in the moment also doesn’t mean I am not planning my next big adventure. It means I am present today, while working towards that next big adventure but not missing out on the big adventure happening right now, right before my eyes. I don’t always get it right, I’m a work in progress but I am trying and that’s what matters.

And how does this all apply to finances? It is exactly how I approach my money goals and planning too. I recommend doing the habits exercise weekly to your financial life but you could easily do this daily if you wish. Doing this keeps me focused on my financial goals and on track to reach my goal of financial freedom as much as it keeps me on track to live my life mindfully and happily, and not chronically busy on autopilot!